Angry Video Game Nerd: Resurrection of LJN
by mikevuong14
Summary: WARNING: Any content in this story is used for humourous purposes and various gaming styles.
1. Grudge From the Grave

_**The Angry Video Game Nerd**_

**Prologue:**

Human history has always depicted mankind in the pursuit of happiness in the form of material entertainment, where imagination ran rampant. Man has sacrificed himself for such desires, even in the form of physical pain and impossible maneuvers. However, that all changed in 1958 when entertainment pioneer William Higinbotham created the primitive prototype that would come to be known as Pong.

Others followed this example, with the assistance of computer systems, which in fact were special catalysts in video games known as CPU's. The industry finally became available for domestic use, although still primitive.

Major figures, such as Nintendo, Atari, and Sega made titanic breakthroughs for the sake of game entertainment. However, scroungers, or rather third-rate companies as they are now known, came along, corrupting the whole economy of gaming. The evil, self-indulgent leaders of LJN, Hal and Epyx did their dirty work behind the scenes, bluffing their way out of bankruptcy and making deals with the first raters, fooling many young gamers of the time.

One certain young child witnessed the atrocities brought on from the 1980's, and so on. His anger boiling, he picked up a camera and expressed his honest opinions and views on the terrible video games that plagued his everyday life. He had torn apart many of the creations of the evil organizations, especially those of LJN, which he swore to take down.

Following the 1990's, these companies went under and bit the dust, finally quelling the fourth party in the Bit Wars. Atari soon went and became a licenser, while Sega focused mainly on creating more games and Nintendo moved on to become worldwide factor of the gaming industry, rivaling Sony and Microsoft in a conflict reminiscent of the Three Kingdoms Era.

However, shadows still pulled its strings and controlled its puppets in obscurity, becoming stronger and more influential every minute. The same child, LJN's prophesized doom, had now grown into a full fledged young man, still imbued with the anger and adrenaline he had felt in the 80's. That man is known…as…

THE ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD…

He has constantly ripped apart and destroyed many terrible games and consoles which haunted and tormented him and other gamers their whole lives. He went on to become a famed personality of the internet, a constant fighter of third rate games. However, this became his regular duty, defending the world from the existence of shitty games. Thus, in honor of his constant career, tributes, and even an anthem for him was composed.

However, in spite of all this fame and success, the barrier, which has separated good and bad games and which he has tended to for so long, begins to break down…

And LJN rises from the remnants of the barrier….

**Chapter One: Grudge From the Grave**

The day began as always, the sun was shining with the radiant hopes of an awesome game, the gray clouds swirled with the dismal tone of having to play shitty games every day. James got up this fine, yet crappy day, dressed up in his nerdy shirt and brown pants, packed his pens into in his pocket pouch, brushed his teeth, which were splattered with the grime of the filthy curses he threw at the game he reviewed the day before, and put on his glasses. Of course, James D. Rolfe was the fucking Nerd.

He went to his refrigerator, grabbed a Rolling Rock and a snack pack, and went down to his gaming room. This room was his world, his realm; which was also the realm of shitty as fuck games! He went to his SNES games shelf, skimmed through the labels, and grimaced. He plucked out a cartridge and glared at the artwork and logo on the label. It read, "Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage."

"Honestly, I don't know why the fuck I'm looking at this game right now. Look at that rainbow, you know what I'm talking about. LJN, the shitbomb that created this game. Come to think of it, this is one of the more memorable games in the SNES games and it actually got a good review." The Nerd paused and looked at the camera for a minute.

"Really? It got a good review? One of LJN's games got a good review? I must be dreaming or some shit. There is no way in hell that this game can be good, but this is actually one of LJN's better games, or rather LJN's only good game! Hard to believe, right? It was actually more of a mixed opinion, some people called it shit(Which it should be.), others actually thought it was good." The Nerd went to his Screw Attack Television cabinet, popped the cartridge into the Super Nintendo, picked up the controller and plopped right down on his futon/couch.

Afterward, Kyle Justin, the guitar dude, came up from behind the couch and started singing the AVGN theme song:

He's gonna take you back to the past…

To play the shitty games that suck ass…

He'd rather have…a buffalo…

Take a diarrhea dump in his ear….

He'd rather eat…the rotten asshole…

Of a road kill skunk and down with beer…

He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard…

He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd…

He's the Angry Atari and Sega Nerd…

He's the Angry Video Game Nerd…!

Kyle Justin then ducked under the couch, just like every other day, while the Nerd readied himself for the shit missiles that would soon come flying right at him like a flying squirrel making a run for the nuts. The Nerd commented on the starting screen, "Like the title implies, you're playing as either Venom or Spider-Man, and of course, it's two players. After you press start, it starts you off immediately in the first stage, New York, like no shit, where else would Spider-Man be? Now why does the game start you right off at that point as Spider-Man? Isn't this game called Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage?" The Nerd wondered.

"But it's LJN, so what would you expect? Also, what's with the music? I don't have too much of a complaint, but shouldn't it have the Spider-Man theme? It's just like in Terminator for the NES, the games touch the key scenes of the movie(or comic in this case.), but the music doesn't fit. It's like swapping the Sword Quest winnings for horse diarrhea and pig vomit. Did they have some sort of licensing problem with the music? Both games are made by LJN, so I'm guessing people didn't want them touching the official stuff, like, 'Get your fucking hands off those soundtracks, here, take these bands and make your own shitty music.' Yeah, that's how it was with LJN," the Nerd noted with a smirk.

The Nerd downed his entire Rolling Rock and was about to grab another bottle, but he heard a commotion upstairs. "The fuck was that?" The Nerd ran up the stairs, only to be greeted by the sight of pixilated soldiers marching through his front door! "HEY! WHAT IN THE ASS IS GOING ON HERE! Hey assholes! I'm talking to you!" The Nerd attempted to yell at the figures, but received no response.

The Nerd's anger then boiled over and he punched one of them, shattering the soldier into pixel dust. It was then that he got their attention, and they fired at him. The bullets exploded with the sound of a bleeping computer and blasted the Nerd back. He got back up and the soldiers aimed their weapons at him.

The Nerd frowned, then brought out his Super Scope. "All right, you puke green and shit brown loads of fuck, you wanna play rough? Then say hello to my friend!" the Nerd yelled out and started firing away. He managed to take out many of them, but he soon ran out of ammo. He gripped his two Nintendo Zappers that sat in his pocket holsters and started dual firing. The soldiers scattered, while they dropped little black dots.

The dots exploded, damaging the floor and walls. The Nerd attempted to wave away the smoke, and when that was done, he looked up to see Jason Voorhees about to strike down on his head! "OH SHIIIIIIT!" The Nerd jumped out of the way, sprawling on the floor. "So you're back, huh? Bring it then you piece of shit!" The Nerd got up and readied himself to fight.

"I'll show you some funny tricks!" The Nerd head butted Jason into a nearby wall and began whaling on him as if he were a rag doll. Jason, on the other hand was completely defenseless and unable to recover. "I killed you once, I'll kill you again, you piece of mask wearing shit!" The Nerd generated an adrenaline so overpowering that his fists began cracking the hockey mask Jason wore and left large holes in his body.

The Nerd continued to pummel Jason until his assault was cut short when Jason slashed at the Nerd. James looked at the long gash that ran down from his chest to his lower left abdomen. He looked back up at Jason and frowned his "Nerd" frown.

"All right, that's how it's gonna be? Have a taste of some fucking bombs!" The Nerd took a deep breath, while Jason simply stared stupidly, tilting his head forward. The Nerd then shouted with all the might his lungs could muster. "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK!" Bombs with an F logo on it came flying right at Jason and they exploded, blowing away a section of the house.

James walked toward Jason's limp body, his machete still in hand. "You thought you could kill me, huh, Jason? Well, I ain't James the Angry Nintendo Nerd no more, I've evolved into the fucking Angry Video Game Nerd, asshole!" James then stuck out his middle finger at Jason's corpse and turned away.

The Nerd retreated back to his sanctuary, which was his gaming room, and geared up for the fight for his house…


	2. Metal Nerd Solid

_**Chapter 2: Angry Nerd Solid**_

The Nerd put on his Power Gloves and his Konami Eye Scope, picked up his Super Nintendo Super Scope and Roll n' Rocker shield, and strapped on his Power Pad cloak. He looked around his room to see if he'd forgotten anything. Of course, his Nintendo Power power-up magazines and Rolling Rock beer, he couldn't forget those.

He walked to the stairs, awkwardly carrying all that equipment. Before he took the first step, he stole a quick look back at his gaming room, thinking that he may not come back again…

Upstairs, the pixilated soldiers began damaging the house, dropping grenades, shooting up curtains, destroying the furniture. Basically, the house was a complete mess, with very little left intact. The Nerd, having anticipated this domestic assault, put in several AAA batteries, switched the configuration to Pixel Splatter and listened closely.

He heard a noise from behind and wheeled around, focusing on wherever the sound was coming from. His futon moved a bit, then it creaked slowly up, revealing an annoyed Kyle Justin.

"What the hell is going on up there? The noise woke me up from my nap!" Kyle Justin crawled out from under the futon and sat up, rubbing his eyes. Then he heard the sound of glass shattering and James' cat screeching. Kyle's eyes popped open and he became nervous. "Ummm…I don't wanna' know what it is…" He said as his eyes shifted from the Nerd to the futon and back to the Nerd.

For a minute, Kyle seemed to be thinking. Then he said quickly, "I'm getting back behind the couch!" He tried to make a dive for it, but the Nerd caught his legs and dragged him to the staircase. "Look, you wanna' know what's going on? As far as I know, there's a shitload of soldiers fucking up my place, and dogs defecating all over my floors and scaring the shit out of my cat and I ain't standing for it! And you're gonna help me!" the Nerd said to Kyle.

"Well, what can I do? You broke my best guitar two years ago, and I don't even have something to shoot with!" Kyle said, trying to get out of whatever business they were in. The Nerd frowned his "Nerd" frown, and he gave Kyle a Nintendo Zapper.

"Here, you fucking pussy, take this Zapper and get your ass up there!" the Nerd ordered as he pushed Kyle up the steps. Kyle, shaking, took the Zapper and holstered it in his back pocket. Then, guitar in hand, he readied himself…

Kyle went first, going slowly up the steps, and the Nerd closely followed. Kyle poked his head out of the doorway, scanning around for anything that looked remotely like pixilated soldiers. Tiny green and white dots whizzed through the air and plucked Kyle's hat right off his head. Kyle ducked down and held up his guitar in front of his face, shielding him.

The Nerd jumped over Kyle and lasers started streaming from his Super Scope, splattering red pixels all over the walls and floors. Small tapping sounds started echoing from the kitchen, to which the Nerd responded by dashing to his living room and entering a green warp pipe…

The Nerd slid down a green-colored platform into a room that gamers would normally call a HUD. There was a supercomputer with a giant screen interface, expanded by more complex and smaller screens. It was attached to a large screen panel which showed several keyboards, which were in different dialects. Boxes of Rolling Rock, cases whiskey, flasks of ale, and packs of several snack brands littered the floor. Lined up against the wall were several glass pods, which contained costumes and special gear ware: The Atari Coat and Jogger pants, the Star Trek Captain's Uniform, Batman costume, Dracula's Cape and Plastic Teeth, and Lab Uniform and Goggles filled these pods, with screens displaying holographic information about each of the special pieces of clothing.

A laser, bullet and fire-proof door flipped open, revealing arrays of game consoles, along with add-ons and miscellaneous gadgets. The Nerd looked around, and walked toward the supercomputer. He typed out several commands, and video footage of his house popped up on the screens on the sides. Floor plans labeled "Constructive Housing Unit" came up large screen. The Nerd took out a DS stylus and tapped it on a holographic keyboard, entering the codes: DBLDRGN50000WIZARD and 675HALLOWEENKIDS.

Red cursors surrounded the heads of the pixilated soldiers on the smaller screens. At that moment, Kyle came rolling down the platform, grunting in pain as he fell on the floor. Kyle stood up and dusted himself off, picked his guitar and looked around the Nerd Lair.

James then clicked on P.D.S.(Primary Defensive Systems), which displayed a whole selection of systems with the word 'Activate' beside each system:

Pac-Cat Activate

B-17 Bombs Activate

Super Trans-Famicom Activate

Shock Net Activate

James clicked activate next to Pac-Cat. The screen then transitioned into an 8-bit rendition of the Nerd's house, with the Cat crouching in a closed-off section. "Cat's hiding in the closet, all right." A holographic image of an NES controller was conjured up and then it turned into real plastic, wires and silicon. The Nerd took it in hand and started controlling the Cat as though he were playing a game.

He moved the Cat around avoiding the green and brown ghosts which represented the soldiers. He went around and collected, or rather, ate small red trays with bowls filled with cat food and milk for power-ups and started eating the ghosts. Each time the Cat ate a ghost, it became stronger, but the ghosts kept coming. The power-ups continued spawning again and again, but the Nerd noticed hostile activity on the second floor. The Nerd handed the NES controller to Kyle, leaving him to control the Cat.

The Nerd then clicked on a tab labeled "Warp Pipes" and skimmed through numbers and names.

Pipe Destinations:

1) Main Bedroom

2) Basement

3) Attic

4) Living Room

5) Kitchen

6) Storage

7) Porch

8) Entertainment Room

9) Garage

The Nerd configured the destination to Main Bedroom and walked over to a Warp Pipe. The screen beside it displayed "Main Bedroom" and "Crooks: 39." He entered the Pipe and came out into his room…


	3. From Glitches With Death

_**Chapter 3: From Glitches With Death**_

The Nerd readied his Super Scope and scanned his bedroom with his Konami Eye Scope for the predicted enemies, but he saw nothing. He shook his head and noted to himself never to trust any radars from Die Hard. He checked his Nerd-Boy 3000, which displayed a cartoon caricature of himself holding up both middle fingers. Several meters beside his arms, legs, head and torso said LMB: Fully Operational, along with a selection list on the left that said BODY, RAGE, and STATUS. He turned the selective dial to move the cursor onto STATS, causing the screen to now display a near empty screen with only three lines of text.

"What a waste of fucking space, I wonder why they couldn't have just put it more like a list?" The AVGN thought, finding the layout quite strange.

The text read: Konami Eye Scope: Acc. +5, Glasses: Pers. +2, Power Glove: Strength +3. The Nerd shook his head and thought, "If that's all it has to say, why need this much space? Time to check my Attributes."

He rolled a small disc on it, and it was just about to bring up the Attribute Screen until the meter next to his right leg started draining. "What the hell?" The Nerd looked down at his leg and saw several small pixilated X-Men nudging and shooting lasers at his leg.

"Shit…This is why I never trust the CP-fucking U…" The Nerd said as he picked up most of the characters, all of which shot red and white lines at the Nerd. The white lasers pinged off his glasses and the red scalded his flesh, leaving small pimple like spots.

"AH! You pieces of goddamn shit!" The Nerd cursed as he crushed the little pixels. The rest of the little X-Men attempted to run, but he just stomped them flat. He checked his Nerd-Boy, which now said, Crooks: 23. The Nerd switched to the Data Tab and rolled onto Local Map, which had several tiny red dots that required him to use his magnifying glass extension.

"You'd think that they'd make these dots bigger, but no, they gotta' be so small that you'd need a magnifying glass to even have an idea of what it is, or even worse, a fucking microscope! Yeah, imagine trying to place a microscope on a screen. It won't work," the Nerd complained as he observed the location of the enemy.

Back in the Nerd Lair, Kyle Justin was still guiding the Nerd's cat through the house, and he scratched his head. "How the hell is anyone able to move a cat around like that? Well, at least it's not like Pac-Man Algorithms. That would've been more frustrating," Kyle murmured to himself as he kept playing. Soon the enemies started moving differently every time the cat turned and wound through the levels.

"Shit…." Kyle groaned. The cat kept getting hurt, losing large portions of life with each hit. Kyle's expression changed from bored, to annoyance, and then to frustration. He was now drinking a Rolling Rock and writing lyrics explaining how atrocious the game was, trying to keep himself from exploding in rage.

_What the fuck?_

_How could this game suck?_

_It reeks of shit, 'cause with every hit,_

_You lose a ton of health, and _

_This game is badly designed!_

_This game ain't fun _

_Is this game _

_Another Rubik's thing?_

_Or is it a shining example_

_Of how awful and shitty games can be?_

_Oh my God, someone kill me now_

'_cause I can't stand to play this game even for free._

Even though he was doing the two things that calmed him down, he was growing angrier and angrier with each passing second. When the cat lost all nine lives, he threw controller down and took the cartridge, or rather floppy disk of the Pac-Cat data out of the computer. He placed it on one of the cases of Rolling Rock and took out his Zapper.

"Hey, hey, hey Goodbye, you piece of crap!" Kyle shot the cartridge, blowing it to pieces. Kyle sighed, then took a sip of Rolling Rock.

Back up in the bedroom, the Nerd slunk around, keeping a watchful eye for any more miniscule characters. "That's weird, I could've sworn they were on the right," the Nerd observed. He checked his local map, only to find that he had been going the opposite direction from the enemy hotspot. "ASSSSSSSSSS! That's bullshit! How the hell was I going the wrong way! Why the hell don't the bare basics of left and right work on this fucking thing!" The Nerd punched his Nerd-Boy 3000, and it made a loud screeching sound, and a new screen came up. A deep, distorted voice sounded from the device.

"-uh!." His Nerd-Boy resounded. The Nerd saw a buffering screen, and tried to make out who was talking to him. "Aw damn it! What the fuck is wrong with godforsaken, ass blowing, piss drinking thing?" the voice sounded again. This time it sounded much more humane, yet it carried a nasally tone.

The Nerd would recognize that voice anywhere…

"CRITIC!" The Nerd cursed at his Nerd-Boy. The Critic's face finally came onto the screen, clear as day. "All right, Nerd, it's that time of year again! That Guy With The Glasses ain't gonna stop me this time from-!" Before the Nostalgia Critic could say anything more, the Nerd interrupted.

"You piece of fucking shit! Are you the one responsible for all these little fuckers trashing my place!" the Nerd interrogated. The Critic looked at the Nerd like he was crazy, then he asked. "Did you say…trashing your place?" The Nerd began to get angrier.

"Are you deaf or dumb or both?" he insulted the Critic. The Critic looked at him a little longer, then he started guffawing.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUNNY!" the Nerd screamed in rage. The Critic kept on laughing for a few minutes. Then he finally stopped and caught his breath. "So, your place is being trashed by some little fuckers? What little fuckers?" the Critic asked, demanding some sort of evidence of an assault. The Nerd held up a pile of the little X-Men corpses, which were all covered in blood, their limbs twisted into unfavorable shapes.

The Critic leaned his head back, looking at the corpses in surprise. "Oh…so you weren't kidding…" the Critic responded. The Nerd began to grow tired of this talk. "You know what, Critic? Just go back and do whatever it was you were doing before you called. Asshole." The Nerd flipped off his Nerd-Boy 3000 and resumed his search…

As soon as he took one pace to his left, his Nerd-Boy flipped on, and the Critic's voice sounded. "Okay, for once, I might feel pity, NOT because your house is being destroyed, but because I'm not the one doing it! Although I wish it was." His Nerd-Boy switched off automatically, and the Nerd took the Critic's words into consideration.

"Okay, I guess that rules that bastard out. So who else…?" The Nerd pondered, trying to make a list of the possible suspects behind the assault. He'd already killed Jason, so he wasn't a suspect. Hey, it was just common fact that every time the leader of some coalition was killed, the army scatters. The soldiers continued raiding the place after that, so he wasn't behind it.

"Michael Myers? Nah, he couldn't do something like that… Handsome Tom? Naw, what business does he have with me? Bugs Bunny? Nah, he had the balls to take me on in my house alone, he landed us both in hell after I ripped his head off. Shit, I still can't get over how he turned into Woody Woodpecker," the Nerd continued to think of any other enemy he'd made. The Nerd had made a LOT of enemies, so anyone's guess was as good as his.

He looked around for more enemies while thinking about the enemy's leader. He was about to enter a closet when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. "WHAT THE FUCK!" the Nerd yelled as he scrambled to move. He looked to his right. To his horror, he saw an unfolded wheelchair on his right leg.

"Aw that's fucking great! Where the hell did this wheelchair come from!" the Nerd attempted to move left, right, forward and backward, but couldn't do donkey dick. He tried to study the wheelchair, and tried to move it, but stopped upon hearing a motor running.

Nervous, he looked up, only to see a crazed Leatherface bringing down his chainsaw!


	4. Atari Boxing Massacre

**Chapter Four: Atari Boxing Massacre**

The Nerd shit himself as he managed to jump out of the way from Leatherface's chainsaw. "Aw no, not this guy again!" He tried to run, but he felt an uneasy pressure on his butt while brown liquid was seeping from the end of his pants. "Oh fuck, did I-?"

He didn't have time to ponder on the subject as Leatherface was wildly swinging his chainsaw, running for him. The Nerd turned around and thought up a brilliantly disgusting idea.

"You want some shit? Well, bombs away!" the Nerd declared as he dropped his pants, letting the shit spray onto Leatherface. Leatherface tried to back away from the assault of putrid anal fudge, but instead slipped and fell down, while the Nerd picked out a conveniently displaced fan. "Can't believe I'm saying this, but thank fuck the laws of physics don't work in games!" He placed the fan in front of his spewing backside and the shit droplets and streams whizzed like bullets, putting holes into Leatherface in the process.

Leatherface was now screaming wildly in disgust and pain. The Nerd finally stopped, throwing the fan at Leatherface's head. He pulled up his pants, and readied himself for another fight. Leatherface, covered in mounds of poop, got up and tried swinging his chainsaw at the Nerd again. The vibrations splattered more shit all over the area and the Nerd got pissed.

"You know what?" The Nerd said as he landed a straight punch at Leatherface's shoulder. "I'd rather stick my head in grimy elephant grease! I think that sticking my dick inside a cheerio is easier-!" The Nerd continued as he kicked Leatherface in the nuts. "-Than killing you! What are you, a fucking cat? It took a tank to take your first life, a bunch of wheelchair-related crap to take seven more of your lives!" The Nerd crouched down and readied his final punch.

"…And it'll take a fucking Nerd to take your last one… SHORYUKEN!" The Nerd sprang up with the legendary spinning uppercut, breaking Leatherface's jaw and also setting him on fire. The Nerd landed, and then felt a tingling discomfort on his right arm. He looked and saw that his arm was also on fire. "HOLY FUCK BALLS! COCK-A-DUKEY PIDDLY ASS SHIT NUGGETS, I'M ON FUCKING FIRE! He ran around like a maniac, trying to put out the flames on his arm.

While he was trying to deal with the blistering flames, Leatherface slowly got up. The Nerd, having realized he was near the bathroom, went to the sink and put out the fire on his arm. The Nerd laughed in relief, "Ha ha… holy fuck farts, thank shit that's over…"

He was then turned around, face-to-face with an angry Leatherface. "…Fuck." The Nerd grumbled. Leatherface threw him against the wall and started kicking him. After he was satisfied with repayment, he wrenched the towel rod from the wall and was about to whack the Nerd until the Nerd shouted: "HADOUKEN!"

The blue burst of flame sent Leatherface flying into the wall opposite the Nerd. Both of them managed to get up and they ran towards each other. However, they missed each other by mere inches and the Nerd grunted. "ASS! Every time I try to make my mark I miss it by a few inches! Why do things like this have to be so precise?" They both turned around and ran towards each other again. This time they made contact and then they broke away from each other. The referee from _Punch-Out! _came in and waved his hand. A bell rang and Leatherface and the Nerd started moving around the bathroom.

Both of them tried to move towards each other but instead moved in the direction opposite the one they wanted to go. This confused them to the point where they had to review the Rocky Sega Master System Instruction Manual for a refreshment. They got up, but then they suddenly jumped out of the bathroom into the bedroom again, where there was now gym equipment. The Nerd, unable to control his body, went to the sandbag, while Leatherface was working the weights.

A training montage began with the Rocky theme. The Nerd, pissed, yet inspired, said, "Gotta do good on these training stages… Gotta get strong!" He started punching the crap out of the sandbag. Leatherface didn't say anything but picked out two eighty pound dumbbells and started working his arms. The Nerd excelled at the sandbag, with 68 punches out of 60, allowing his rage levels to escalate even higher. He picked out a jump rope and started hopping like mad.

Leatherface managed to do 35 lifts on each arm, more than compensating for gaining the special hook combo. He got down and started doing reps. The Nerd finished his footwork exercise with a rate of 8 jumps a minute, meeting the quota for gaining faster movement, while Leatherface's reps earned him a greater stamina level. The Nerd then started lifting a ninety-pound dumb bell, lowering it and lifting it back up again. Leatherface started practicing his hooks the punching bag, ending with a rate of 4 punches per second, allowing him to punch much faster. The Nerd dropped the dumbbell, exceeding the lifts with 19 out of 15 lifts, increasing his overall strength.

Later, they both stepped into the Bathroom Arena, the Nerd dressed in a white sleeveless shirt, brown shorts laced by gold, with shitty games hanging from the top, and he had red Everlast boxing gloves. Leatherface was dressed in his usual attire. The only differences was that he had blood streaked boxing gloves, along with human-skinned shoes.

The Arena was filled with the pixilated X-Men, shouting and cheering as the referee called the rules. "All right, I want a good clean fight! I know both of yous are dangerous poiwsons, but there better be no dirty fist fightin'! Ready…FIGHT!" The Nerd and Leatherface squared off. Leatherface threw a left jab, the Nerd sidestepped and threw a flying hook at Leatherface's forehead. The reach was insane, and Leatherface grabbed the Nerd's arm and punched him two times in the face, nearly breaking his glasses.

The Nerd backed away and looked up at his health meter. His jaw dropped at the sight.

His health meter was nearly half-gone, while Leatherface's health was on diminished by a sixth. "Punch a cat in the fucking nutsack, my health is that low? That's fair, you lose your health in like four fucking hits, but it takes nearly forever to beat your opponent? Whiny ass cock fucker, this is assy!" His rage meter filled all the way up, and just as Leather face was about to punch the Nerd again, the Nerd's fist flew like lightning and whacked Leatherface. "I'd rather stick my balls-!" the Nerd ranted as he started hooking Leatherface, "-on a buffalo's horns! I'd rather-" the Nerd continued rambling as he threw a hay bale punch, "-hook my dick on a fishing rod and catch Jaws on it!"

Blood started flowing from Leatherface's nose. Leatherface tried to punch back, but the Nerd just kept going and going and going. Soon enough the Energizer Bunny came in. The Nerd noticed him and grabbed him. "Huh? Hey, what the hell are you doin, you psycho?" the Bunny yelled as the Nerd raised him in anger. "Energizer, you were ASS! You didn't last long! My Game Boy died after ten fucking minutes! FALSE ADVERTISING!" He started beating Leatherface with the Energizer Bunny. The Bunny tried to call out to the referee, "Hey! Ain't this illegal? OW! OW! YOU DOUCHEFAG, HEY!" The referee, however, was sitting on the john, reading a Nintendo Power Magazine. The Nerd kept beating Leatherface until cotton was spewing out from the Bunny's body.

He threw the Bunny away and raised his fist for one last punch…


	5. Nerdzilla LXXVII:Super Fury Monster Wars

_**Chapter 5:**_

**Nerdzilla LXXVII Super Fury Kaijuu Daikessen**

The AVGN jumped up, his fist digging right under Leatherface's jaw. The Nerd heard cracking noises as he put more strength into his Shoryuken uppercut. Leatherface attempted to push his fist back down, but it was futile. The Nerd, getting angrier with every moment that Leatherface tried to keep him from victory, channeled his fury into a raging flame seeping through his veins.

"SHORYU-F-KING-KEN!" the Nerd yelled as his attack got through, sending Leatherface into wall. His health meter had been completely depleted, his chin broken, and his life gone. The Nerd panted, his arm throbbing from the recoil of his punch. He took a glance at a limp Leatherface and grinned at his effort.

The referee came over to the Nerd and raised his hand, yelling, "Victory to..! What's your name?" The Nerd brushed away the ref's hand and said, "Why should I care? Jeez, I need some healing items…" He took a look at his Nerd-Boy 3000 which somehow came back on his wrist along with his original attire. He scrolled to the 'Items' tab and saw that he had four Rolling Rock beers in his inventory.

He took out a bottle of his favorite brew and downed it within minutes. His health was fully restored and he bumped his chest in satisfaction. "Ahh, nothing like a Rolling Rock to lift your spirits." He made sure he wasn't missing anything, and he went with caution to the upstairs hallway. He had a grand view of what was invading his house. Little pixels, jellyfish eyes, everything of the most bizarre composition was crawling through meandering through his house.

Meanwhile, Kyle Justin was looking around the Nerd Cave for any useful items, but had trouble determining which item he could use. The first item he came across was a red stick of pixels, and Kyle had to use it in order to guess what he was holding. He tossed it up in the air, and it exploded upon contacting the ceiling of the Cave. "Dynamite, huh? Well, these might come in handy later," Kyle said, pocketing as many sticks of dynamite as he could. He then worked his way around the mountain of boxes, eventually finding a small metal cap. He picked it up, saying "Huh, now this I can definitely use!" He put it under his hat, and patted his head. He felt hard steel meet his hand's touch.

"Awwww shit….Looks like I'll need a good weapon…" The Nerd scrolled through his Nerd-Boy 3000 and searched for an efficient enough weapon to wipe out a good portion of the enemy.

**Super Scope **

Damage: 20

Ammo: NONE

Splash Damage Radius: 15 ft.

Quantity: 1

**Nintendo Zapper**

Damage: 5

Ammo: 18

Quantity: 2

**Odyssey Rifle **

Damage: 15

Ammo: 10

Spread: 10 Pellets

Quantity: 1

**Power Glove**

Damage: 20

Quantity: 2

**Atari Power Bomb**

Damage: 75

Blast Radius: 30 ft.

Quantity: 2

After a quick review, the Nerd decided to go with the Atari Power Bomb, and as soon as he took it out of his inventory, he felt a sudden weight in his hand. He almost fell and dropped the potent weapon, cursing, "Shit, why do these fucking things weigh like a million tons?" As soon as his arm got used to its weight, lifted it up and scanned for the best place to lob this son of a bitch.

The pixilated soldiers began converging onto one spot, which was perfect for the Nerd. He summoned up the appropriate amount of strength for the throwing distance, breathed hard, and threw the bomb. The sight that met him the next second was an orange light, with wood and plaster flying toward him. The noise of the explosion was deafening, and the recoil of the explosion was so powerful that it knocked the Nerd off the walkway he was on.

"Fuckin' bombs and their shockwaves…You could be like a mile away and they still hurt you…" He glanced at his Nerd-Boy, and his health was down to half. "Fuckin' laws of physics, they just had to incorporate the physics of Dr. Fuckin' Jekyll and Mr. Fuckin' Hyde…" He selected another Rolling Rock beer and replenished his health.

He then went to survey the affected area. Nothing but ashes and smoke were left by the detonation. "Yeah, how do you like them fuckin' apples, you pieces a' shit?" He stuck up his middle finger at the downed enemies and went into the kitchen. The Nerd found his cat up on the refrigerator, while the remaining pixel soldiers attempted to jump up to him.

The Nerd stomped on the enemies, spat a bit, and got his cat down from the fridge. "Hmmm… Now that I think about it, maybe I should get some stuff from the kitchen for later…" The Nerd cautioned. He took some Rolling Rocks and Chik-n-Rice Instant Meals. His cat mewed, and the Nerd soothed it, "All right, all right, I know. Lemme go and see what's in here…" He opened his dry food pantry, picked out some boxes of cat food. He fed his cat and stored the rest of the cat food in his inventory for later. It was then that Kyle Justin came out of the Warp Pipe from the Nerd Cave.

"Where the fuck have you been?" the Nerd asked. "Helpin' your cat kill some of the little bastards and collectin' some useful shit we can use." Kyle answered. He put down a large blue Reebok duffel bag. The Nerd checked his Nerd-Boy 3000 for any enemies left. "Huh, I'm not picking up anything on this, I guess I got 'em all."

PING! The Nerd Boy resounded very loudly, and the Nerd and Kyle were taken aback by it. Justin looked at the screen. "Uhh…it says one enemy…but…who would come back after that hammering?" Kyle asked. The Nerd clicked a button called Advanced Functions, and he tinkered with the Nerd-Boy a bit. He then activated an option called 'Satellite Surveillance.' The screen went dark for a minute, then it gradually began filling with color.

The Nerd almost gasped at the sight of the one enemy. "…I-It's….It's…G-g-g-g-g….Goooaaaaaa….!" the Nerd was so shocked he could not finish. The cat looked up, aware of the _huge _danger that was coming, and darted out the back door. Kyle started shaking the Nerd, "Dude, what is it? What was it that you saw?" The Nerd shook off and yelled, "Never mind that, JUST RUN!" The Nerd dashed in the same path as his cat, while Kyle unwittingly followed.

"Nerd, would you mind explaining to me…what…the…fuck…is THAT!" Kyle asked as soon as he got outside. He suddenly gaped, awestruck by the same sight that held the Nerd and the cat in their tracks. "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARHHHHHHHH!" A fierce roar resounded through the neighborhood, followed by a harsh monsoon. The force of the monsoon shook the house, and the Nerd screamed, "IT'S GODZILLA!" The Nerd couldn't have better personified his shock at the King of the Monsters. The monster roared again, and it fired its trademark atomic beam. The beam cut across the air, and a huge explosion resulted upon impact with the ground.

At that point, a man came running out from the house next to the Nerd's, and he yelled, "James, what the fuck is going on!" "Godzilla's attacking the U.S., you dumb motherfucker!" James (the Nerd) yelled back. Godzilla roared once more, and he then turned toward the group of four. "Ummm…James…? Is it me…or does he look like he's…coming straight for us?" James's (the Nerd's) neighbor asked. "Yes he is, Motherfucker Mike…Of all the shitty things we have to deal with today, it just had to be Godzilla himself! Well, if this giant fuck nugget wants us, then let's give him what he fuckin' wants!" James (the Nerd) and Motherfucker Mike ran toward the street Godzilla was on. Kyle and the cat followed.

The Nerd, in his battle gear, readied his Super Scope. Motherfucker Mike armed himself with a Sword, Kyle wielded his trusty guitar, and the Nerd's cat bared its fangs. Godzilla roared again, and a metal remix of the AVGN theme began playing. Large boxes containing text and numbers appeared all over the place, signifying what was happening within the battle. One box read, "Godzilla draws near! You're fucked." Another box read off the party's health meters, with all of them at full capacity. A third box read off the Command List, which comprised of: Attack, Special, Magic, Summon, Defend, Item, and Flee.

"The AVGN chooses to attack! AVGN fires his Super Scope at Godzilla!" read the first text box. "This oughta' fuck you up, asshole!" the AVGN yelled. The discharge let off a large yellow laser ball, and it exploded on Godzilla's chest. Another box flickered red and gray for a minute, saying, "56 damage!" There was barely a scratch on Godzilla's chest, and the AVGN went back to his battle position.

Kyle decided to go with a stronger approach, and chose to do a Special move. His only special move was "Metronome Beatdown," and the effect was a multi-hit combo. He chose that move, and the first text box now read, "Kyle Justin's special move: 'Metronome Beatdown.'" Kyle began playing the AVGN theme to a regular metronome tick, then he jumped up at Godzilla and began swinging, each hit matching perfectly with each tick of the metronome. The damage box came up with each successful strike: 67, 58, 72, 64, and 83. He dropped back down to his regular battle position, and the total damage was 344. Godzilla was still unfazed by these weak attacks.

The Nerd's cat chose to attack, and it scratched Godzilla's ankle. The damage box read 12 damage. Motherfucker Mike was the last to strike, and he chose to do a special move. "Cheap Dice" and "Card Shuffle" were the only special moves in his array, and he chose to do "Card Shuffle." The effect was taking a chance at getting a critical hit on the enemy, or risk taking damage. The move worked like the card game "War." Whoever had the largest value got the advantage, with aces high. A large holographic deck of cards appeared in the middle of the battlefield, and it began shuffling like crazy. Two cards were drawn at random from the deck. One card flew towards Mike, and the other toward Godzilla. They flipped, revealing that Mike won it out with 9 to 5. Mike jumped up and did a vertical slash on Godzilla, dealing 216 damage. Godzilla finally began to feel something, although he was still strong enough to wipe out the whole party.

Godzilla proved this by firing his atomic breath, and it damaged the entire party.

AVGN's health dropped from 613 to 307!

MM's health dropped from 630 to 298!

KJ's health dropped from 597 to 246!

The Cat's health dropped from 346 to 21!

The Cat was about to faint, while Kyle and Motherfucker Mike began breathing hard. The Nerd, who was still able to stand without too much trouble, chose to do a summon. "It's time to bring the heavy as shit artillery!" He started pushing buttons on his right Power Glove, and it started jolting. A bright light erupted from the Power Glove, and it materialized into a ball. "Aww shit, you're in for it now, you big scaly fuck ball!" Godzilla stared at the ball as it eventually began to take shape. Finally, Godzilla was standing head to head against a giant as big as himself. The Nerd grinned and yelled, "How about this, Godzilla! It's Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 B.C. Version 4.0 Beta, BITCH!"

Godzilla made a war cry, spewing its atomic breath, while lightning began striking the ground . The SMDC 2000 BC Ver. 4.0 Beta came forward to meet Godzilla, and let out its own war cry, "FUCKERS!" The group of four stood back and waited for the gargantuan battle to unfold…


	6. Godzilla vs SMDC 2000 BC Ver 4

_**Chapter 6:**_

**Godzilla vs. Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 B.C. Version 4.0: Nerd Edition**

The Nerd held his breath as he saw SMDC 2000 B.C. Ver. 4.0 Beta size up to Godzilla. The behemoths were roaring at the other, the atmosphere suddenly swelling with tension.

The earth suddenly began shaking under the sheer power of both giants, and lightning began striking the ground. However, the weather was still clear, and the Nerd addressed this. "Look at that, it's all bright and clear as shit out here, yet there are lightning strikes! Gotta love that inconsistency." Two pairs of health and energy meters, which were at full capacity, appeared below them. A time counter, which was set to infinite, appeared between the meters. The metal remix of the AVGN theme that had been playing earlier was now replaced by an epic theme from the Godzilla series.

Both Godzilla and SMDC leapt toward each other, and began grappling. A small screen popped up in front of the Nerd and his crew, with spontaneously fluctuating waves. The Nerd recognized it from Super Godzilla, and almost spewed his forbidden curse at it. There were flashing instructions saying, "Mash the attack button to win the power struggle!" The Nerd and his crew were confused as to what it was talking about, but they noticed that the SMDC began faltering, as did his "power meter." The AVGN took out his Power Glove and fiddled around with all the buttons, thinking of every possible button combination that would apply to this situation. When the Nerd found out the attack button, he was almost enraged. "Shit suckin' butt mongrels, they don't tell ya' which button is the attack button is, do they? I swear they got a bunch of ass-headed monkeys programming this thing!" "Damn it, James, now is not the time or place!" Motherfucker Mike reminded the Nerd. The Nerd came back to reality and started mashing the attack button like a crazy bastard, and SMDC's power meter began overwhelming Godzilla's power meter. SMDC pushed Godzilla through a mess of buildings and structures (thankfully excluding the Nerd's and Motherfucker Mike's houses.), draining Godzilla's health meter a bit.

But Godzilla was quick to break the grapple by gaining a foothold on the ground. He picked up SMDC and spun him around. Godzilla threw SMDC into a nearby building, charged his thermonuclear blast, and fired, draining his energy meter to half, and SMDC's health meter by about a sixth. SMDC made its war cry once more as he got back up, and he once again began moving toward Godzilla. Godzilla tried to fire his thermonuclear blast once more, but SMDC rushed Godzilla before he could manage that, knocking Godzilla down to the ground. SMDC charged his own special move, which would cost him half his energy meter as well. His auto targeting arrays switched every available weapon online, and he let loose the Armageddon Assault, which consisted of rapid fire lasers, nukes, and missiles. The attack drained Godzilla's health down by a sixth. "Yeah! Eat that, you reptilian fuckpoop!" the Nerd jeered. Godzilla would not be beaten so easily, however, as he got up and began charging toward SMDC. SMDC used the rocket thrusters under his death machine apparatus, hovering above and landing on Godzilla. The astounding weight of SMDC proved to be a bit much for Godzilla, and it began to take its toll on Godzilla as his health drained little by little.

This was exactly what Godzilla had wanted SMDC to do, and he charged his thermonuclear ray once more. The Nerd frantically pressed buttons so as to get SMDC out of the line of fire, but Godzilla fired before SMDC could manage to get off. SMDC took a heaping amount of damage from the ray, and he fell onto another slew of structures. "We're shoving insurance rates up the ass, aren't we?" Motherfucker Mike pointed out. Godzilla stood up while SMDC was propelling himself up to a stable position. Godzilla swung his tail at SMDC, but SMDC fired several missiles toward Godzilla's back, aiming for his nuclear dorsal fins. Both attacks hit their mark, and both giants went crashing down. At the moment, both health meters were dead even. "Come on, Super Mecha! You can do this! Don't let that scaly bastard beat you down!" the AVGN cheered on SMDC.

Godzilla was the first to recover from the previous round of attack, and proceeded to charge toward SMDC, who was still taking time to get back up. Godzilla's teeth sank into surface of SMDC, who only responded with, "FUCKERRRR! YOU JUST SEALED YOUR FAAAATE!" And thus, SMDC began glowing brightly, a precursor to his penultimate attack. Rings of energy lit up around SMDC, forming a sort of rune. The rune glowed brightly, and a flash of light erupted from the rune. Godzilla's teeth were torn from SMDC as the rest of his body was met powerful light that was just as powerful as his own Super Thermonuclear Heat Ray. As Godzilla's body took staggering damage, his health meter drained all the way down to zero.

The classic Final Fantasy victory jubilee chimed throughout the neighborhood.

Angry Video Game Nerd gained 1,000 EXP!

Motherfucker Mike gained 1,000 EXP!

Kyle Justin gained 1,000 EXP!

Cat gained 1,000 EXP!

AWESOME!

Angry Video Game Nerd leveled up to Level 8!

Motherfucker Mike leveled up to Level 8!

Kyle Justin leveled up to Level 8!

Cat leveled up to Level 8!

HELL YES!

500 gold was gained!

OH FUCK YES! WAIT I WANT MORE CASH!

As the stats screens faded away, the Nerd's emotions softened to where he was himself, as James, free of anger. James looked to Godzilla's enormous body. The creature crooned a bit, and James could not help but feel pity for him. "…Even though you attacked us, I still and always will, think of you as one of the most badass monsters to have ever existed." Godzilla, upon hearing those words, creaked its eyes closed. His remains transformed into a ball of light, and darted toward James' Power Glove.

"What the fuckin shitpiss?" James, now returning to his mood as the Nerd, yelled out. He saw the buttons glow with soft flames, written in Japanese kanji. "NEW SUMMON: GODZILLA!" A loud deep voice resounded from nowhere. "Where in hell's ass did that come from?" Motherfucker Mike asked. Kyle Justin shrugged, while the Cat simply just lay flat on its stomach. The Nerd ignored this, and checked it out. A holographic screen popped up from the Power Glove. It said "Godzilla: Stats" and as per its title, it also showed Godzilla's, well, stats.

The Nerd scanned over the status screen, nearly absorbed in the factors of Godzilla.

**Godzilla: Stats**

_**Description**_

Incredibly powerful hybrid produced from nuclear fallout and the bones of a Godzillasaurus.

Able to withstand up to 3,000,000 volts of electricity.

Vast physical strength; can destroy an 80-story skyscraper with relative ease.

Radioactivity enhances already great strength and endurance.

Has regenerative capabilities, possibly from radiation.

_**Power Tracker**_

Level: 1

Health: 1000

Special: 590

Attack: 650

Defense: 580

Speed: 300

_**Techniques**_

Atomic Heat Ray (Lv. 1) - Godzilla's dorsal fins glow with radiation as he begins gathering energy. Once the attack is fully charged, Godzilla lets out a devastating wave of energy. ** SP Cost: 115**

And the Nerd finished up reading on Godzilla's stats, frowning. "Oh that's fair! When you fight a boss, they're as tough as shit, but when you recruit them as allies, they suck monkey dick! What a shitload of fuck…" The holographic screen disappeared, and the Nerd checked the rest of his gear to see if he had lost anything. He then looked over to his party. They were all still pretty banged up, and they couldn't travel very far in that condition. He checked his Nerd-Boy 3000 for any nearby enemies, but none showed up.

"All right, you fuckheads, I guess we're going to go and bunk up at my place for the night." The Nerd told his friends. Motherfucker Mike began to protest, "But my place seems to be less fucked up than yours, though!" The Nerd then replied, "Yeah, but I don't see any weapons of destruction or self-defense mechanisms that could possibly keep it from being destroyed in a shitstorm!" Motherfucker Mike saw his point, and raised no further qualms.


	7. Oh Those Laughing Joking Numbnuts!

_**Chapter 7:**_

**Oh, Those Laughing Joking Numbnuts!**

The Nerd and his party convened at his house to rest up. The house was in shambles, given that it was an intense battle simply trying to retake it. "Balls. I can't believe I gotta clean all this shit up…" The Nerd mumbled to himself. He got a broom and started sweeping, then asked the others, "You just gonna stand there or you gonna help me?" They decided to help (with the exception of the cat.) clean up.

While they were cleaning up, they discussed who could have been behind the assault. "It ain't the Nostalgia Critic, I know that for sure." the Nerd said. "You think Pat the NES Punk might have-?" Motherfucker Mike put in. Kyle Justin cut him off, "Whoever it was, they tried to break the couch!" The Nerd corrected him, "It's a futon. Anyway, whoever was behind this shitstorm had Jason Voorhees, Leatherface, and Godzilla with 'em!"

This was certainly a mystery to the three, as none of them knew any person who held such resources at the same time. After cleaning up, they went down to the basement to settle in for the night, although Mike insisted that he go and get his own slumber equipment. No one raised a qualm against this, so Mike left for his house.

"Ah, couch, I never want to be away from you ever again…" Kyle Justin snuggled under the futon, with his guitar in his arms. The Nerd decided to play a game to pass the time until Mike came back. He took out one of his all-time favorite games, Super Castlevania IV and plopped it into the Super Nintendo Entertainment System.

"God, I almost forgot what it was like to play a good game for once…" The Nerd recalled, referring to the many days he would play and review shitty games. He remembered all the curses he'd thrown at them over the years. He remembered how LJN had managed to ruin two of the most spectacular films to ever hit the horror genre with their shitty game play and the nonsensical factors incorporated into each game; the piece of shit known as Winter Games, which he'd burned in his fireplace that cold winter night; and how…

And then it hit him. All the characters that appeared before him today…

Jason's revival, the tiny X-Men, Leatherface's return, and Godzilla's sudden appearance before the Nerd…

"My God…it was right in front of me this whole time!" The Nerd exclaimed.

Kyle Justin, a little startled at his exclamation, asked, "What was right in front of you this whole time?"

The Nerd turned to Kyle Justin, answering with, "It's fucking LJN! Those Laughing Joking Numbnuts are behind all this!" Kyle simply looked confused, and told him, "But I don't understand here…Some of the guys you took on weren't even involved with any of their games." "Then that would mean that LJN's not the only scoop of ass cream on this shit sundae," the Nerd conjectured.

The Nerd and Kyle Justin drifted off again in their own thoughts, the only sound was his cat yawning. The monotony was broken by Mike returning back to the Nerd's house. "Hey James, so where are we bunkering up for tonight?" The Nerd thought for a minute, and decided that the best position in the house was right in that room, where all their equipment was.

The Nerd went upstairs and brought down his own sleeping equipment, ready to bunk in for the night.

It was 1 a.m., and the Nerd's eyes were closed shut, yet sleep refused to drape over him. He sat up, frowning his Nerd frown, and looked around him. Mike was sleeping on the side opposite of him, snoring loudly. The cat's body was rising and falling gently in its slumber. The only other person that was awake was Kyle Justin, who was sitting up behind the futon, strumming his guitar.

"Hey, guitar guy." The Nerd spoke up. Kyle Justin looked around the futon, looking less than jovial. "Guess you can't really sleep, either, huh?" Kyle responded. The Nerd nodded, and turned toward his television. "I guess playing a game or two will help me sleep.. How about you?" The Nerd asked his theme player. Kyle Justin slowly got up and stretched a bit. "I guess it'll help me too…" Kyle said. He sat on the futon while the Nerd looked through his library of games.

The Nerd smiled as he picked out a gem: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time. He plopped the game into the Super Nintendo and plopped back down on the futon. Kyle picked up two controllers and handed him one. They waited for the beginning credits to go through, and watched the intro play. The Nerd felt like reviewing, and so he began:

"Man, this sure is an awesome game we got here. Widely renowned for its cooperative mode, its good challenge, and fluid control scheme, this is the SNES miracle that is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time. The intro plays out just as you would expect it to, and it lures you in, wanting to unfold this epic journey." the Nerd poetically described.

"So the story revolves around Krang stealing the Statue of Liberty, with Shredder taunting the Turtles to come and get it back….Yeah…sounds about right." The Nerd mused.

The start screen came up, and the two pushed their start buttons. "A basic start screen, and a basic rundown of all your characters. There's really no difference in who you choose, they all seem to be the same." The Nerd chose Donatello, while Kyle chose Michaelangelo. "All right, time to lay waste to Shredder's asshole!" The Nerd said, battle-ready. They dropped down in Level One and started beating up some Foot Ninjas.

"Yeah, this game starts off about right, ya get to beat up some robots right off the bat. Just the way I like it." Both players started using a variety of attacks and throws on the enemy. "And it's more satisfying with the variety of attacks you can input in beating the enemy. You can attack with your weapon, you can slam them on the ground, and you can even throw them at the screen. So satisfying." The Nerd said in a pleased tone.

Both of them took a few hits and took it upon themselves to look for some health items. "If you watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, you'd be able to guess that pizza would be a health power-up. It's only natural since the turtles are obsessed with the damn food."

The two soon encountered the first boss. "Oh look, it's Bastard Stockman." The two proceeded to beat up the boss and a few foot ninjas that spawned to support the boss. They beat the boss, and proceeded onto the next level.

They'd continued on into the night (morning?) with the Nerd continuing on with his review. By the time they were ready to retire for bed, it had been four in the morning. The Nerd figured that they would be setting off pretty early, and that they would need every ounce of energy for their journey….


End file.
